tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25859696002504371772024-03-13T08:05:27.887-07:00UnconventionalPath2ParenthoodThis blog is the journey to starting our family. With all your support and guidance we are sure to have a smooth process. We look forward to sharing with you all this new path in our life and hope you enjoy the roller coaster we embark on, becuase it will for sure be thrilling, scary and worth throwing our hands up in the air with joy when its all over.
-Lots of Love C&CAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626117949071665470noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2585969600250437177.post-36082193954600890882013-11-03T18:26:00.000-08:002013-11-03T18:26:05.397-08:00Forever HomeSometimes life hands you difficult situations and you can either pout and do nothing or you can break down the walls and power through it. I have never felt so proud of the commitment my husband and I have had to powering through these challenges. He has been my rock in so many hard spots and while some days are hard and I'm sure many others will as well. I know now that there is a plan for us and that plan is to help out children in need first. Over the last 12 weeks we have absorbed so much information I feel like my head might explode, but now we are just so anxious to be a forever home to children in need. <br />
<br />
I can't express enough how much we appreciate everyone's love and support through this all. It has been a very overwhelming process. We are now just getting to the point where we are thinking man we might be mom and dad in a few months for all we know. Everyone has helped us out in so many ways and it seems like Thank You is just not enough. I don't know how I will repay you all for the help and support through this but just know the Heidemann family loves you all so much. <br />
<br />
I just wanted to put some funny things out there that I never would have thought I would have encountered in this process. I always see the articles out there about things not to ask adoptive parents and just laugh at some of the things people are asked. I never thought I would ever be asked any of these at least not in this stage, but oh was I wrong. I thought I would just list a few to give everyone a small laugh for this Sunday Funday. <br />
<br />
1. Will you get to pick your child out of a catalog? <br />
- Say what? This one I had to stop and think for a minute on how to respond. While I understand not many are educated in the process of adoption but please don't ask adoptive parents this. <br />
<br />
2. So adopting is like buying a house, you have a realtor and they just send you a bunch of matches that they think you'll like?<br />
- another one I couldn't stop laughing at...not because of the intent of the question but just how funny it sounded to have someone compare adoption to a house. <br />
<br />
3. Why do adoptive parents need 6-8 weeks off of work? <br />
- while we do not birth the child and yes that time for some is recover from child birth a lot of that time is for bonding and adjustment. I feel any person bringing a new child into the home birth or adoption deserves this time. <br />
<br />
4. They wont be "yours".<br />
- Like hell they wont. Once a child is legally adopted they are issued a new birth certificate...so it will be certain the child or children will be Heidemann's. <br />
<br />
5. Adopting is always a persons second choice and typically only if they can't have their own.<br />
- while my struggles with getting pregnant led us to this journey first it has always been something I have wanted to do whether I birthed a child first or not. There are many people who adopt not just because of issues getting pregnant. <br />
<br />
Those are just the ones I have encountered to know, but I'm sure there will be more. While I try not to take these offensively sometimes they do come off rude. I do understand though that many people are just not educated on how the process works and I will always be an advocate to adoption and foster care and I am always open to answering any questions people have whether they want to adopt or foster at all. Just know that there are so many children out there waiting for a forever home and while for some this is just not possibly for some it just hasn't been explored. It is National Adoption Month so I encourage everyone to think about and pray for all those kids out there and hope they do get that forever home. <br />
<br />
Lots of Love<br />
C&CAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626117949071665470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2585969600250437177.post-84422261002930181032013-09-10T05:36:00.000-07:002013-09-10T05:36:01.705-07:00Deepest, darkest time of my life and the road taken to get to acceptance and understanding.In life there are two kinds of people those who put their needs before anyone else and those who abuse that flaw in others. I sit and remember back to a very dark time in my life and I'm not happy for all the things I did, but at that time they were things I did for me and no one else. <br />
<br />
I have always been there for my friends and my family for whatever they needed. Much of my 4 years in High School I felt like a physiologist with as much listening I did for others. Even in college I was there to listen to others. While in college the people around me became people who would take the time to listen to me. I was still not to the point in my life when I would need people the most. It was about 2 1/2 years to 1 1/2 ago that I really needed people to switch that role and put my needs before their own some time...which I had always done for them in the past. When you are struggling with getting pregnant the last person you can go to is your husband, at least for me I couldn't. He knew he wasn't going to tell me to give up and he wasn't going to be mad at me for what was going on, but he was involved more and was hard for him to pull away and be rational with me in my darkest time. I needed my friends who I had been there for so many times before that. Instead I was ostracized from their life because at that time they were all having babies and being there for them was what I was suppose to do. I admit that part of the ostracizing was my own doing because being around baby planning was very painful at that time, but I wish people would have understand that even through the pain I was still happy for them, but it was pain and that can over shadow a lot in times. <br />
<br />
As I came to acceptance/ understanding of what was going on and my husband and I starting researching adoption and foster care the pain became less, but unfortunately those friendships were no longer there anymore. They can blame it all on me, but its not all on me. I guess that through this grieving process I wish I would have just had those people that I put my feelings aside for, for so many years put aside their ego, gloating, and expectations and understood that even while I was happy the pain was to deep and wouldn't allow my happiness to break through for a very long time. <br />
<br />
Its hard to look back on one of the most depressing times of your life, but looking back what I see now is the people who were there for me....the unexpected people who I only knew for a few short years or even less, some whom were going through their own pregnancies but never made me feel less of a person for having my issues and understood how hard it was for me and who tried to help me with other possible solutions to our issue. These people I will always cherish in my life. I remember times of sadness with these people as they announced their pregnancies and all I wished for was the same feeling they had, but in the midst of all the excitement...they understood my sadness and grief and never made me feel that how I was feeling was wrong. I didn't jump for joy for them, I didn't cry with tears of happiness, I didn't scream with excitement....I was just happy for them, but at the same time part of me was dying inside with sadness and wanting for that same experience. <br />
<br />
Now those feelings of pain are tamed ...I have a lot of ladies in my neighborhood pregnant or having kids and I can feel open to enjoying the happiness of children/ babies again because I know that when God shuts ones door he opens another. Some people never experience true depression and those people are very lucky. I just ask that if you have some around you going through depression in anyway try not to be selfish and try to understand what is going on before you blacklist them for not being the person they once were before because depression will change them into something they are not. I would delete people off my social media who were having babies or hide some of them because while I was happy for them the pain of ultrasound pictures and the baby countdowns and all that stuff was painful. It was something I had to do to make my life easier at the time. I don't regret doing those things....the things that helped me keep sane during the depression. I just hope that someday those people who stopped being my friend during that dark time can see and hopefully understand what I was going through and know that all I needed was for someone to listen to me and actually care. As much as people may not want to believe when you are struggling to get pregnant and reach the acceptance stage you have completed a full cycle of the grieving process. I completed mine and I'm very happy to be moving on. I just wish I had some of those friends that I had before the process began. <br />
<br />
Lots of Love,<br />
C&C<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626117949071665470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2585969600250437177.post-30479839875283075392013-09-07T15:00:00.000-07:002013-09-07T15:00:04.162-07:00Live, Laugh, LoveThis week we completed week 3 of our adoption/foster care class. It was a much different feeling than week 2 where I was very overwhelmed. This week I anticipated would be difficult for me being about gains and losses. I thought they were going to focus mostly on infertility loss, boy was I wrong. The losses they showed us were losses that we all experience, these losses are called maturational losses. Examples are birth we lose the womb, but we gain life, or when we potty training we lost privacy, comfort (in diapers) but we gained some independence and dignity in being able to use the bathroom. These maturational losses and gains happen from birth till death, its the situational ones that are harder on us, like the loss of a job, or family member or in our case being put in foster care or being adopted means you have lost your parents. Now in most cases they didn't die but you lost what is normal to you and it wasn't planned that this would happen. In this class we became loss experts and we had to learn to identify what losses children had experienced and how to help them grieve. This also helped us identify what types of losses we could handle, if you have just lost a parent and haven't grieved yourself probably wouldn't be a good choice to take a child going through the same process, but if you have completed the process you could be a great choice to help this child through that tough time. We have to learn to live with what has happened and we learned that while children in foster care or who are adopted should never be forced or asked to accept what has happened to them, but to continue to live they need to understand what has happened to them and why. <br />
<br />
One thing I love about our class is our classmates. All are there for many different reason and have a lot of experience. We can laugh about funny experience and learn from them. I was very overwhelmed last week and voiced that to my leaders and one of my classmates explained that its all about patience and love. I was told that with my experience in child care and seeing different levels of behavior I will be fine. All my experience in the past has given me a lot more hope that when we get our child (ren) we will be fine. Our classes are not all serious we can laugh about funny things that are said or done and hearing how others have made mistakes that seem so silly now, but that you just have to be ok with apologizing for that mistake and hopefully you don't make it again. <br />
<br />
We have our first home study visit next week and while I was very worried about that our class ensured us that we don't need to dust and go all crazy on cleaning, but there are things that are needed. Things even people who birth their own child should have. 1) fire extinguisher 2) carbon monoxide detector and 3) meds locked in a lock box. We learned that you should be no more than 40 feet from a extinguisher...that seems pretty excessive but they really aren't that expensive, ours was 18.99 at home depot. Carbon Monoxide is a big issue and everyone should have one in there house, just need 1 per floor. The one that most don't think about is meds. I have a lot of meds from my recent stint in the hospital for a blood clot and we were told everything down to Tylenol and sports rubs needs to be locked up. Again seems excessive but kids can get into this stuff at any age. We think of it mostly for babies or young kids but if you have a child who is going through depression in adolescents, pills could be a way for them hurt themselves, but if they are locked it reduces that risk. I would never tell anyone they have to do this, but we first thought this was going to be a pain in the butt, but it really has shown us how safe it will be. We are very excited for our home study because we will learn more about what types of children we want to take and ages and needs. I know that we are going to try to adopt a sibling group. I know many probably are thinking wow from no kids to two kids will be a huge change, but what many don't know is that sibling groups are really hard to place because people don't want to take that many children on. I would love to reassure a child that they will never be split from their siblings. The only thing I'm thinking about now as we go into the 4 class and our home study is only 6 more weeks and we can't wait to hopefully get 2 kiddos here to our family so we can just start loving those kiddos with all our heart. <br />
<br />
Hope you all have a great weekend. <br />
Lots of Love C&CAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626117949071665470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2585969600250437177.post-76209870667944317702013-09-04T07:41:00.001-07:002013-09-04T07:41:17.111-07:00Paper Pregnant<p dir="ltr">Last night I was doing my nighttime ritual where I get into bed and check email, Facebook, and Pinterest before I go to sleep. I ran across this neat blog that was talking about the similarities of the waiting process of pregnancy and adoption. This lady dubbed herself paper pregnant...I Love it. </p>
<p dir="ltr">While the typical waiting period can be drastically different for both you still have to wait and the same emotions come out during that time. From nesting to worrying about having everything right. I'm sadly going through this all now and it's crazy. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I can't dub ourselves as paper pregnant yet but in a few months we should be able to. 7 more classes left! Happy Hump Day!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Lots of Love C&<u>C</u></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-nE9W_gVGoKA/UidGilsHkzI/AAAAAAAAAIw/2_Zf5CH-c_0/s1600/paprpreg_grande.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-nE9W_gVGoKA/UidGilsHkzI/AAAAAAAAAIw/2_Zf5CH-c_0/s640/paprpreg_grande.jpg"> </a> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626117949071665470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2585969600250437177.post-18568888616760822982013-08-30T19:52:00.000-07:002013-08-30T19:52:35.998-07:00Overwhelmed at Week 2My husband and I have completed week 2 of our 10 week adoption/foster care class. While the information is abundant I found myself very overwhelmed this week. This week was talking about identifying the needs of the children, which you would think would be easy, but its not. To think about how you would deal with a child who is emotionally attached to you, or who is hurting themselves, or who was neglected by their parents is hard enough as it is. You think well I just need to be there for them and show them we care and that will do it, but it isn't enough. I worry that Chris and I may not have the experience to take care of these children. I'm worried we will miss a need and not help the child. While I know every case is different it scares me. To think of children being raped or beaten or not having clothes is so hard. We are taught to not think down about the bio parents but it seems really hard not to resent them for what they have done to these children. I know it will get better, but the amount of information coming in is filling my head so full that it feels like its going to explode. Not only do you have to take care of these children you have to be a detective and pick apart their behavior, their emotions and everything else to make sure you are doing what you can for them. I know once we get a child or children here it will all fall into place but its a reality check for you. Next weeks class is going to be very hard for me personally. Its all about loss. We learn to be loss experts we focus on things the children have lost whether its a family member, house, brothers and sister, etc. This class will also focus on infertility, while I still don't think I'm infertile they still consider our situation as a loss. Reading through the packet I know this will be a tough class for me. We have some really great people leading this class, I just hope that they will guide us and help us on areas that we don't have a lot of experience in such as discipline. I know that mothers who are pregnant probably go through some sort of period like this where the tiniest thought of parenting while exciting is very overwhelming. I hope that all my mommy friends out there can be a guide for me while we go through this. If anyone has any advice feel free to leave it. All comments are welcome. Have a great weekend. Happy football season!. <br />
<br />
Lots of Love C & CAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626117949071665470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2585969600250437177.post-1735706821506055832013-07-25T10:30:00.000-07:002013-07-25T10:30:11.839-07:00Perceptions of AdoptionEveryones opinion about adoption is different and their own. Over the last few weeks I have been noticing alot more previlance of adoption in the news, on TV and just in conversation. While along time ago adoption was more of a taboo and wasn't widley accepted, its alot more common now. We see celebraties like Brad and Angelina, Jillian Michaels, and Katherine Heigl sharing their adoption stories. While that is just a few of the celebraties out there that have adopted there are thousands of people who adopt and for many different reasons every year. Their celebratie status help show that acceptance of adoption. <br />
<br />
ABC Family television station has launched a new tv show called the Fosters that is a drama seires based on a same sex couple who have adopted, foster, and have a biological son. It shows the ins and outs of situations families who adopt and foster can deal with, such as birth parents, bio children getting along with adopted siblings, foster children wondering how long they will be with this home and just how they manage their lives with all these different issues. All of this is done but still portray a loving and happy family. <br />
<br />
You see many movies out there now that give a portrail of adoption such as Annie, Stuart Little, Meet the Robinsons, Lilo nd Stitch, Blind Side, Juno, Matilda, and Superman, are just a few. In a way these all have given our generation a different understand of Adoption and Foster Care. I feel lts looked less at as a way for a infertil woman to have a child and more about a family who wants to help a child. <br />
<br />
I know in our experirence we have really encountered many people who would love to adopt some day or who feel its important that these kids find a family that will love them and take care of them. While Chris and I understand that most people do "prefer" there own children we know so many people who would be amazing adoptive or foster parents as well. <br />
<br />
All in all I feel fortunate to be going through this process with people surrounding Chris and I who have a open mind, open heart, and are just truely happy for us. Again, if you are intersted in adoption or foster care or just want to educate yourself more. Please check out. <a href="http://www.adoptuskids.org/" target="_blank">Adoptuskids</a>, <a href="http://www.iowakidsnet.com/" target="_blank">Iowa Kids Net</a>, or <a href="http://www.creatingafamily.org/" target="_blank">Creating a Family</a>. All of these sites can give you so much information. I know they have helped us out a ton. Have a great day everyone. <br />
<br />
Lots of Love C&CAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626117949071665470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2585969600250437177.post-47526522572158668222013-07-19T10:53:00.001-07:002013-07-19T10:53:45.853-07:00Nesting...and not pregnant?????I thought this was a interesting topic. As everyone knows most pregnant women go through a period where they are cleaning and organizing everything in the house, awaiting arrival of baby. While I'm not sure if this is an emotional thing that comes along with pregnancy or if its just the sudden maternal instict to make sure everything unsafe is gone or put away, but I have been on a cleaning and organzing kick over the last 3 weeks. I know I'm not pregnant, but can those same emotions be felt through adoption? Maybe its just a feeling of OMG I need to get rid of stuff cause I know what kids accumulate. Maybe its my anxiety over our homestudy and to make sure the house is well organized so the social worker can see we are a good home for any child. I'm not sure, but one thing is certain my husband LOVES this. <br />
<br />
Over the last 3 weeks I have cleaned and organized our closed, master bedroom, guest room and now working on our office, garage and basement. You can ask my parents I'm not a cleaning type of person and so I'm interested to know if its possible to have that nesting instict when your going through other alternative ways of starting your family...aka adoption. We are still months away from actually adopting, but maybe its just the fact I know it will be here before we know it and I want it to be clean or maybe I'm just going crazy. What are all your thoughts on this? Id love to hear. <br />
<br />
Happy Friday!!! <br />
<br />
Lots of Love C&CAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626117949071665470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2585969600250437177.post-68182936691135503882013-07-18T11:57:00.001-07:002013-07-18T11:57:33.795-07:00HeAt WaVe As most of the country is going through a heat wave, I find it a good day to sit in the cool airconditioning and write. I do alot of research with just about everything I do. I want to be the most informed person I can be in our adoption process. Plus one of my biggest pet peeves is ignorant people. I research all kinds of topics from how to deal with emotional destress with adolecents and how to prepare children for an adoption. While researching I stumbled upon this really awesome website called <a href="http://www.creatingafamily.org/" target="_blank">Creating a Family</a>, they sepcialize in infertillity and adoption. This site is full of amazing resources from how to create a lifebook in your adoption, how to talk to your children about there adoption, how to deal with PCOS and having a baby and so much more. The site has a podcast they also do and publish on Itunes and Stitcher. These podcasts always have a great topic to guide you in your journey and they always have a guest speaker who is typically a professional in the field giving their opinion on the topic. They have topics like Helping Kids Who struggle in School to Moving from Infertility Treatment to Adoption. I listened to one today about how to talk about adoption with your child. <br />
<br />
They gave a great outline about ages and best way to explain their adoption at those time. I've given a breif summary of that outline below. <br />
<br />
0-2 years old it was best to keep it short and read books about adoption. <br />
<br />
3-5 years old talk about how happy you are that they are with you. Short and sweet at the younger ages, becuase they can't fully understand what their adoption was about. <br />
<br />
6-10 year olds it gets more tricky. This is the point where they are realizing racial difference and they are dealing with kids at school who know they are adopted and are asking questions. At this point the podcast encourages you to sit down with your child and ask them things like "do you think about your birth mother or father?" this leaves it open for the child to answer Yes or No. If they say No then best to drop it till they are ready to talk about it and if Yes then engage more with them about what they think about, if they want to know more about them. Most importantly not to rush them into anything. <br />
<br />
11+ years old the children know most likely they are adopted and could be struggling with things like "why did my birth parents give me up?" "did they not love me?" and "who are my birth parents?" At this point its best to sit down and really have a long conversation about the adoption. While every family is different a child's adoption will always be a part of their life and its our job as the parents to make sure its looked at in a positve light by being informed and asking the right questions and have appropriate answers. <br />
<br />
I encourage everyone to check out the website to get more informed I know it has given me a list of things to think about and to talk to my husband about as well. <br />
<br />
Well everyone stay cool and have a glorious Thursday. <br />
<br />
Lots of Love C&CAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626117949071665470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2585969600250437177.post-89497544110748724242013-06-16T18:33:00.001-07:002013-06-16T18:33:30.094-07:00Top of the worldThis week turned out to be the beginning of a whole new life for us. This week we got the call to take the big leap in to our adoption process. This process will be a 10 week class along with our home study. The 10 week class will help us learn what types of situations we could encounter with some of the children. Everything from abuse, abandonment, or trauma that could be so unimaginable that you just don't want to know. This is the bulk of the process for us along with the home study. During the home study they will come to our home and tell us certain things we will need to do to get our house ready for a child. Such things as carbon monoxide detectors, fire extinguisher and any other safety things. Then they will ask us a series of questions about our families, our marriage, our likes and dislikes. How we might discipline a child etc. All of this will better help them determine what age we might do best with, how well we work together as a team, and what we are willing to do to make sure this child lives in a safe and encouraging environment. <div><br></div><div>Once this huge hurdle is complete they will take their time reviewing our home study and the comments made by our case worker and then make the decision whether to license us or not. While this route, through the state, is a more in-depth home study then if we were to find our own home study person, but in the end they want you to be licensed. We were told that by December we should be all done and hopefully by the new year LICENSED!!!!! This will be perfect timing for our Europe trip and then hope to bring home a kiddo as soon as we can when we get back from Europe. </div><div><br></div><div>This Fathers Day has shown to be a very exciting one in the fact that hopefully the next Father's Day my husband will be able to celebrate with a kiddo around. We look forward to our class coming up in August and hope that this major aspect goes very smoothly. </div><div><br></div><div>My husband and I are very lucky to have wonderful fathers that have show us so much and have given us great examples on how to raise our children. </div><div><br></div><div>To end I have another great quote about adoption. "Being adopted doesn't mean<b> no one loves you</b>, it means that you are always <b>loved </b>by the <b>one who gave you life</b>, and you are <b>loved</b> by the <b>one who is watching you go through life"</b></div><div><br></div><div>Happy Fathers Day to all those dads out there and the fathers to be (including my hubby).</div><div>Lots of love C&C</div><div><b><br></b></div><div><b><br></b></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626117949071665470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2585969600250437177.post-42350741829235459452013-06-12T06:27:00.000-07:002013-06-12T06:27:50.933-07:00Patience...or lack of 3 weeks ago tomorrow the hubby and I dropped off our background check and fingerprints. The paper work says it will take 2 weeks when I called for more info on how we would be contacted we were told it could take 4 weeks. As most of my family and friends know I am not good with waiting, but how could anyone in this situation. So many things go through my head like will that speeding ticket 2 years ago be a factor, oops I ran a red light a few months ago. They don't tell you what they are going to look at and you have no true understanding of how they will judge your ablitity to parent a child. I have no doubt in my mind that Chris and I will pass with flying colors but it makes you sit and wonder what all they are finding out about you. Maybe they are contacting the government to get my phone records from Verizon or my search results from Google....who knows. In the mean time the pregger koolaid keeps getting spread around and while its alot easier to handle, its still sad some days. I have always said our DR's have never told us we would never have kids, just wouldn't be as easy as others. <br />
<br />
In the mean time we are trying to pass our time by working out ALOT! I have taken up BodyPump and Piloxing (boxing, Pilates, and ballet all in one) and Chris is running alot more and going to be partaking in his first mud run this weekend. Even as we try to wait patiently its hard, Pinterest is full of so many wonderful ideas and it makes it hard not to start planning out the things you want to do with their room or what kinds of trips you would want to take them on. So many of these children have so little and have to share everything with many foster siblings, so its makes it really hard not to want to give them EVERYTHING. <br />
<br />
Lastly in this post I want to reflect on a quote I read this morning that I feel really is important to look at. <span style="color: magenta;">"Don't expect everyone to understand your journey especially if they've never had to walk your path" </span><br />
<br />
This can be used for a variety of journeys, but I think it goes well with ours. I know that some people (luckly not many in our case) wont understand why we decided on adoption and didn't put all our money into other teatments, such as IVF (<strong>In vitro fertilization</strong> ) or IUI (<strong>intrauterine insemination)</strong> . I know many people don't understand how we could love a child who is not our blood. I know many people want take this journey to a more negative light and blame it all on my PCOS or say we are only doing this becuase we "can't have kids", which is untrue. I know many want to say well anyone could do what your doing, but I think till you take the path you wont fully understand the journey. I don't claim to know anything about being pregnant, granted I have been around MANY pregnant women lately, but I still couldn't say I know how you feel. I know that many people could adopt or foster a child and I think that would be great, but saying and doing are two different things. I would encourage anyone interested to go to a informational meeting and just learn if it sounds like something you would be interested in. <br />
<br />
Happy Wednesday Everyone! Lots of Love C&CAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626117949071665470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2585969600250437177.post-73474764069235312452013-05-24T15:22:00.001-07:002013-05-24T15:22:58.936-07:00Tick Tock Goes the Clock....Everyday seems one day closer to our adoption, and while the excitement is plentiful the impatience is unbearable some days. Yesterday Chris and I got all our fingerprinting done and today we dropped off all the paper work all filled out. Now we wait....they tell us it should only take 2 weeks, but we all know how the government can work sometimes. We hope it all comes back on time so that we can start our PS-MAPP class and home study in July. <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We hope this journey not only enjoyable for others to read but we hope it brings inspiration to others to take a look at adoption/ Foster Care. Not only infant adoption but older child(ren) adoption/ Foster Care. There are a lot of questions to ask yourself before you take on the process of adopt or Foster care.</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
Are you ready to take on the different special needs?- Some of these children have special needs such as mental or emotional distress. Or they have been abandoned, abused or have medical needs such as down syndrome or something more serious.</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
Are you able to get over the fact they aren't 'Your Blood'?- If you sit and think to yourself that you prefer your own children, but if you were 'unable' to have kids, I guess I would adopt, well maybe its not for you. If you can say you prefer your own child(ren) could you really love that adoptive child to the fullest? Going through this process you need to be able to love that child as your own, not as anything less. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Are you doing this for the money?- Well if you think your going to make a ton of money being a foster or adoptive parent, think again. While you do get a check to help with somethings its not going to make you rich by any means. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
While these are just some of the things to think about there are always a lot more. We enjoy sharing all of this with everyone. Feel free to ask us any questions along the process we would be more than happy to share. The last bit I'd like to leave you with is to remember that while bearing your own child is special, giving a child a family and a home who doesn't have one is just as special and very selfless. Oh and you don't have to not be able to have children to adopt/foster. Hope everyone has a great Memorial Day Weekend. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Lots of Love C&C</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626117949071665470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2585969600250437177.post-47519596696909895002013-05-16T09:33:00.002-07:002013-05-16T09:33:31.482-07:00Family HierarchyAs many people know PCOS is not a pregnancy death sentence, its more like that experiment where you suck a egg into a bottle, it seems impossible, but with certain situations it will happen. While over the last 4 years there have been many depressing times and plenty that brought my marriage to alot of impasses. My husband is very supportive but there are only so many things a man can say to make a woman feel better in those types of situations. The things that go through a women's head at those times are almost certifiably insane. While I couldn't love my husband more for going through those tough times with me, I think more about the emotions and feelings we are experiencing now. As many would think joy and excitement, which many couples go through when they are planning a family. I don't want any one to think that I think our feelings trump or are more than those expecting a child, but never being in that situation I wouldn't know how the bonds of marriage change, all I can give you is our experiences. <br />
<br />
Many people who know my husband know that he isn't really a baby person, and while many have said that would change if it was our child (which I'm sure is true), my worries were, could he love a child that isn't biologically his? If/when we would have a child of our own would that change his feelings for our adoptive child? So many questions and feelings arose when deciding to star the process of adoption. I know in my heart no matter the child, biological or blood, I will love the child(ren), but how do I really know what my husband is thinking???? I was worried I would never know and one day it presented itself and all my worries went away. <br />
<br />
As we talked about the process my husband had alot of question and concerns, as anyone would. I took those as a good sign that he was really processing this in his head. Then one day he came home and said he had saw a picture on a person desk, he knew through work, of his daughter who was of Asian decent. This work friend was not Asian and my husband was going to ask him if he had adopted his daughter. At first I told him not to, thinking well maybe his wife was Asian and you don't want to offend anyone. To my surprise they had done an international adoption and Chris came home that night and told me all about their families journey. Chris also contacted a friend who has a child of special needs to ask her about their journey. You might think, why is that a issue? Well alot of children in the foster system are their because of a strong medical need or have a special need. Some as sever as 24 hour care to as little as a mild learning disability. I was kind of shocked to know that he had contacted and talked to these people about our journey, for this isn't really like my quiet, shy husband. The more I looked at these situations I saw he was going to be OK with any child(ren) we adopt. Just for a reference my husband and I are planning a Trip to Europe next May and he has yet to sit down and really research places with me, I tell him cool things to see and what we need to start doing and he looks and me and says OK....so this sudden impulse/ need to contact and get more information and other peoples experiences had me very excited. <br />
<br />
I have had many people who have had children tell me that while they love their husbands to death, they would go to the ends of the earth for their children, over their husband.That their children are on the high pedestal and their husbands, while not far behind the children, just don't make the cut for #1 in their hearts anymore. Now this might not be the feeling for everyone, this is just what I have heard from some people. How does the family hierarchy change and can their be a tie for #1 in our hearts? I don't know how I could ever drop my husband down a peg after seeing all that he has done to educate himself about this adoption. I again can't say what the feelings and emotions are like with having a baby, but this adoption has brought my marriage to a level of happiness, openness, honesty, and love that I didn't know was possible. He will always be #1 to me and will be an amazing father. <br />
<br />
I know that was pretty mushy/gushy, but thought it was appropriate with our 4 year wedding anniversary next week. Please feel free to post your feelings while either pregnant or adopting if you wish. Everyone have a amazing day.<br />
<br />
~Lots of Love C&CAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626117949071665470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2585969600250437177.post-83820683974154134212013-05-09T11:23:00.000-07:002013-05-09T11:23:40.730-07:00Ups and DownI deleted this blog about a month ago because of pure frustration and disappointment. I should have thought about that more before I cancelled everything I had, but the emotions were running high. As most know my husband and I have decide to adopt a child. We had looked at infant adoptions and realized that $45,000 was not in our budget and as adults we couldn't in the right mind bring a child in to a home with absolutely 0 money after adopting them. With that decision made there were many ups and down. We attended a meeting with Iowa Kids Net, which is the state foster organization for our state, there we learned the many options we had to complete our family. <br />
<br />
In our informational meeting we learned that if every church in Iowa would foster just 1 child there would be no children in the foster system in Iowa, Wow! There is a great need for people to foster children, while this is not the route that My husband and I would like to take we know the importance for people to take children in and help them till their birth parents are able to care for them in a safe environment. My husband and I have decided to become a Respite care family. This means we will provide short term care for foster children so their foster parents can go away for a weekend or go out on a date. We have also decide to pursue the process of adoption through our state, becoming licensed will allow us to adopt within our state as well as in other state in the US. There are over 19,000 children awaiting a family in the United States and we are looking forward to help at least 1 of those children....maybe 2. I'm sure there will be many more ups and downs through this process, but I'll make sure not to delete the blog next time. :-) If you wish to look at the links below and explore the thousands of children up for adoption here they are....<br />
<br />
<a href="http://adoptuskids.org/">Adopt US kids link</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://iowakidsnet.com/">Link to Iowa Kids Net</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14626117949071665470noreply@blogger.com0