Thursday, July 25, 2013

Perceptions of Adoption

Everyones opinion about adoption is different and their own. Over the last few weeks I have been noticing alot more previlance of adoption in the news, on TV and just in conversation. While along time ago adoption was more of a taboo and wasn't widley accepted, its alot more common now. We see celebraties like Brad and Angelina, Jillian Michaels, and Katherine Heigl sharing their adoption stories. While that is just a few of the celebraties out there that have adopted there are thousands of people who adopt and for many different reasons every year.  Their celebratie status help show that acceptance of adoption.

ABC Family television station has launched a new tv show called the Fosters that is a drama seires based on a same sex couple who have adopted, foster, and have a biological son. It shows the ins and outs of situations families who adopt and foster can deal with, such as birth parents, bio children getting along with adopted siblings, foster children wondering how long they will be with this home and just how they manage their lives with all these different issues. All of this is done but still portray a  loving and happy family.

You see many movies out there now that give a portrail of adoption such as Annie, Stuart Little, Meet the Robinsons, Lilo nd Stitch, Blind Side, Juno, Matilda, and Superman, are just a few. In a way these all have given our generation a different understand of Adoption and Foster Care. I feel lts looked less at as a way for a infertil woman to have a child and more about a family who wants to help a child.

I know in our experirence we have really encountered many people who would love to adopt some day or who feel its important that these kids find a family that will love them and take care of them. While Chris and I understand that most people do "prefer" there own children we know so many people who would be amazing adoptive or foster parents as well.

All in all I feel fortunate to be going through this process with people surrounding Chris and I who have a open mind, open heart, and are just truely happy for us. Again, if you are intersted in adoption or foster care or just want to educate yourself more. Please check out. Adoptuskids, Iowa Kids Net, or Creating a Family. All of these sites can give you so much information. I know they have helped us out a ton. Have a great day everyone.

Lots of Love C&C

Friday, July 19, 2013

Nesting...and not pregnant?????

I thought this was a interesting topic. As everyone knows most pregnant women go through a period where they are cleaning and organizing everything in the house, awaiting arrival of baby. While I'm not sure if this is an emotional thing that comes along with pregnancy or if its just the sudden maternal instict to make sure everything unsafe is gone or put away, but I have been on a cleaning and organzing kick over the last 3 weeks. I know I'm not pregnant, but can those same emotions be felt through adoption? Maybe its just a feeling of OMG I need to get rid of stuff cause I know what kids accumulate. Maybe its my anxiety over our homestudy and to make sure the house is well organized so the social worker can see we are a good home for any child. I'm not sure, but one thing is certain my husband LOVES this.

Over the last 3 weeks I have cleaned and organized our closed, master bedroom, guest room and now working on our office, garage and basement. You can ask my parents I'm not a cleaning type of person and so I'm interested to know if its possible to have that nesting instict when your going through other alternative ways of starting your family...aka adoption. We are still months away from actually adopting, but maybe its just the fact I know it will be here before we know it and I want it to be clean or maybe I'm just going crazy. What are all your thoughts on this? Id love to hear.

Happy Friday!!!

Lots of Love C&C

Thursday, July 18, 2013

HeAt WaVe

 As most of the country is going through a heat wave, I find it a good day to sit in the cool airconditioning and write. I do alot of research with just about everything I do. I want to be the most informed person I can be in our adoption process. Plus one of my biggest pet peeves is ignorant people. I research all kinds of topics from how to deal with emotional destress with adolecents and how to prepare children for an adoption. While researching I stumbled upon this really awesome website called Creating a Family, they sepcialize in infertillity and adoption. This site is full of amazing resources from how to create a lifebook in your adoption, how to talk to your children about there adoption, how to deal with PCOS and having a baby and so much more. The site has a podcast they also do and publish on Itunes and Stitcher. These podcasts always have a great topic to guide you in your journey and they always have a guest speaker who is typically a professional in the field giving their opinion on the topic. They have topics like Helping Kids Who struggle in School to Moving from Infertility Treatment to Adoption. I listened to one today about how to talk about adoption with your child.

They gave a great outline about ages and best way to explain their adoption at those time. I've given a breif summary of that outline below.

 0-2 years old it was best to keep it short and read books about adoption.

3-5 years old talk about how happy you are that they are with you. Short and sweet at the younger ages, becuase they can't fully understand what their adoption was about.

6-10 year olds it gets more tricky. This is the point where they are realizing racial difference and they are dealing with kids at school who know they are adopted and are asking questions. At this point the podcast encourages you to sit down with your child and ask them things like "do you think about your birth mother or father?" this leaves it open for the child to answer Yes or No. If they say No then best to drop it till they are ready to talk about it and if Yes then engage more with them about what they think about, if they want to know more about them. Most importantly not to rush them into anything.

11+ years old the children know most likely they are adopted and could be struggling with things like "why did my birth parents give me up?" "did they not love me?" and "who are my birth parents?" At this point its best to sit down and really have a long conversation about the adoption. While every family is different a child's adoption will always be a part of their life and its our job as the parents to make sure its looked at in a positve light by being informed and asking the right questions and have appropriate answers.

I encourage everyone to check out the website to get more informed I know it has given me a list of things to think about and to talk to my husband about as well.

Well everyone stay cool and have a glorious Thursday.

Lots of Love C&C