Thursday, July 18, 2013

HeAt WaVe

 As most of the country is going through a heat wave, I find it a good day to sit in the cool airconditioning and write. I do alot of research with just about everything I do. I want to be the most informed person I can be in our adoption process. Plus one of my biggest pet peeves is ignorant people. I research all kinds of topics from how to deal with emotional destress with adolecents and how to prepare children for an adoption. While researching I stumbled upon this really awesome website called Creating a Family, they sepcialize in infertillity and adoption. This site is full of amazing resources from how to create a lifebook in your adoption, how to talk to your children about there adoption, how to deal with PCOS and having a baby and so much more. The site has a podcast they also do and publish on Itunes and Stitcher. These podcasts always have a great topic to guide you in your journey and they always have a guest speaker who is typically a professional in the field giving their opinion on the topic. They have topics like Helping Kids Who struggle in School to Moving from Infertility Treatment to Adoption. I listened to one today about how to talk about adoption with your child.

They gave a great outline about ages and best way to explain their adoption at those time. I've given a breif summary of that outline below.

 0-2 years old it was best to keep it short and read books about adoption.

3-5 years old talk about how happy you are that they are with you. Short and sweet at the younger ages, becuase they can't fully understand what their adoption was about.

6-10 year olds it gets more tricky. This is the point where they are realizing racial difference and they are dealing with kids at school who know they are adopted and are asking questions. At this point the podcast encourages you to sit down with your child and ask them things like "do you think about your birth mother or father?" this leaves it open for the child to answer Yes or No. If they say No then best to drop it till they are ready to talk about it and if Yes then engage more with them about what they think about, if they want to know more about them. Most importantly not to rush them into anything.

11+ years old the children know most likely they are adopted and could be struggling with things like "why did my birth parents give me up?" "did they not love me?" and "who are my birth parents?" At this point its best to sit down and really have a long conversation about the adoption. While every family is different a child's adoption will always be a part of their life and its our job as the parents to make sure its looked at in a positve light by being informed and asking the right questions and have appropriate answers.

I encourage everyone to check out the website to get more informed I know it has given me a list of things to think about and to talk to my husband about as well.

Well everyone stay cool and have a glorious Thursday.

Lots of Love C&C

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